18 November 2018

[Bess Tuggle] - Memoirs of Surviving Children: Tom the Turkey

I have a friend.  One truly, good, best friend (my husband excluded, he’s my heart).  We’ve been through a lot together, my friend and I, learned a lot from each other, and we’re still friends.  Lawd help us both!

We raised our children together.  Six boys are a hot mess to deal with, and it took both of us.  The good, the bad ‘n the ugly.  The boys simply migrated between houses.  I’ll have to save some of those details for other columns (the night her youngest shot me with a paintball gun while we tried to build a bon-fire for them should be a good one; making all the boys stack wood as punishment will be another).

It might be months between my friend and I get to talk, but then we catch up.  Kids, grandkids, spouses and parents…  It’s all good.

After a couple decades of friendship, we developed a soft rule.  Never start a conversation with “What ya doin’ today?”  That’s not good from either of us.  We both learned to take a deep breath, count to 3 and answer “Why” before saying “nothing.”  That “nothing” could get you into all kinds of stuff.  Or get you all kinds of stuff.

I got a call from my friend just before Thanksgiving one time.  Her husband got a couple turkeys from his boss.  Not one, but TWO!  Did I want one?  

I forgot the 1-2-3 rule.  With mouths to feed I answered “Yes!”

Here she comes in her dually, parked it in the driveway and we caught up with each other.  Then I noticed the box on the back of her truck.  It was a –really- big box, which wasn’t unusual, until it started going “Gobble, gobble.”  

She reached in – and pulled out “Tom.”

Yes, Tom was a real, live turkey.  Out of the box he came, and into the woods he went, happily gobbling along the way.  Thanksgiving wasn’t quite what we expected it to be that year, but…  We got to add another “friend” to our happy lil’ mix.  

Tom would come up to the house every day to get fed when I’d yell “Gobble, gobble, gobble” off the back porch.  

Tom only had one real enemy, and that was a neighbor.  We only allowed a select few to hunt on our property.  The problem came when a neighbor that got up regularly before dawn, crept into the woods, silently climbed up into a deer stand to hunt - and Tom found him every time.  Tom equated people with food.  That’s not a good thing when you’re trying to deer hunt and a turkey is sitting at the bottom of the tree, gobbling its fool head off, waiting to be fed.  Needless to say, our neighbor didn’t get any deer –that- season.

The rest of the time Tom was just another member of our menagerie.  He ended up living happily in the woods for the rest of his life – and he didn’t get roasted, baked or stuffed.

- Bess Tuggle 

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16 November 2018

[Perrin Lovett] - The Mob is at the Door: Tucker Carlson v. Antifa

It’s a beautiful day for a home invasion, a beautiful day for a riot…
(Apologies to Fred Rogers, RIP).

So! It seems a few Americans - true blue patriots, every last one - didn’t get the message about the cure-all effect of last week’s lovely little election. Heck, it’s almost like some things got worse. Odd.

Maybe they were overreacting to M.B.’s dissin’ of the Newton County Republican Party. Maybe they were on a bad peanut trip. Maybe they’re just a bunch of sad, mentally-deranged communist thugs out for blood and mayhem. Whatever the reason, those beacons of hope to cockroaches everywhere, Antifa, paid a visit to the home of Fox News star Tucker “Red Pill Works” Carlson.

Image from Fox News.

“Smash Racism, D.C.” - a Perrin-described band of poorly-groomed, malodorous, low-IQ, out-of-shape, violent, savage, criminal Marxists - showed up in force. Rumor has it that they barricaded the street to prevent local police from doing something other than ignoring crime (like that was going to happen - especially in this case). They chanted. They chanted some more. In the name of Lucifer and to the memory of Stalin, they chanted further.

What they said, exactly, isn’t that important or likely even comprehensible. The exception was the vague threats against Carlson, his wife, and family. (Tucker, gettin’ all up in that WASP stuff, was at WORK [not a radio station, Antifa] at the time; his wife was home alone). Mention was made of a pipe bomb, perhaps in lament that one had been forgotten.

As if threats, threats of bombings, intimidation, obstruction of law enforcement, trespassing, and incoherent megaphone babbling wasn’t enough, the group decided to physically assault the household. At least one of the more rotund members of the mob hurled his hefty girth against the door. The force was sufficient to crack the door. Carlson’s wife, again, was home alone to deal with this violence.

Add to the above-noted criminal actions: vandalism and burglary (door cracking under inward force denotes bowing or bending sufficient to ”break the plane”). Make no mistake, this was a home invasion. It only stalled, we’re told, when the horde was told of a two-for-one special at the local vegan taco joint.

Make no mistake. These people mean business. What would have happened had they actually made entry? Murder, robbery, rape, and arson come to mind.

Make no mistake. These types are escalating the discourse with violence of increasing frequency and severity.

Also, make no mistake that twenty violent goons attacking (even if unarmed) constitutes the threat of deadly force. I’m not saying to open up with the old M4 or anything. I’m just saying that it would have been appropriate, legally justified, and jump-up-and-down-shouting-while-throwing-candy awesome if Mrs. Carlson had peppered the front door as soon as Captain Lardass hit it. Even better would be watching his comrades charged with felony murder following his timely demise. (This assumes any of them, not having exercised since fifth-grade PE, would have survived the impromptu high-speed departure, sans lethal coronary event).

Image mined from Twitter, via the Google Images vein.

This isn’t the first time Tucker has been the victim of the homoglobo commie scum SS. His teenage daughter was recently attacked at a country club function by a self-identified leering lefty Latino of the lighter loafers. Tucker and his college-age son, again getting all WASPy, “handled” that thug and his issues.

The handling matters. Many, many other people, famous and mundane, have found themselves on the receiving end of the budding civil war. Too many warrant little to no sympathy due to their weak reactions to the attacks, their indifference to the attacks on others, and their continued pitiful resort to “polite” civic nationalism. Bow ties, however straight, ain’t going to fix this problem.

It’s not pleasant, but thinking about this kind of thing has become mandatory. You may not believe in identity politics but identity politics believes in you. It hates you. It assaults the front door. It speaks of bombs.

Watch this short video on the subject by my friend, Ivan Throne:


[M.B., embed that link, here, if possible....] ... [or these brackets will look funny...]

Turn up the volume and maybe engage the closed captioning feature. I can hear him just fine but Ivan is 100% deaf. And, dear God, don’t snicker about that; Ivan is also a 100% Ninjutsu-trained badass.

In the video, he makes three points:

1) They are coming for you. It no longer matters who you are.

2) What are you doing about that? Not “going to do,” but “doing.”

3) No one is coming to help.

An old saying comes to mind: Don’t start no sh!t and there won’t be no sh!t. Civilized and respectable people naturally get that. As for the savages, when they start it, we need to end it.


PS: Mostly an unrelated thought: Wouldn’t it be great if someone stepped on Emmanuel Macron?

15 November 2018

[MB McCart] - The Curious Case of JC Henderson & the 10-year Nelson Heights Lease

Serious concerns about the leasing of county owned property to a Newton County Commissioner's corporation for ten years with ZERO rent

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The Piedmont Chronicles
[State of GA] 
[Newton Co.]

(Covington, GA | 11/15/18) -


*edited & updated, 9:24AM, 11/15/18

On August 1st, 2017, the Newton County Board of Commissioners, as lessor/landlord , did enter into a 10-year lease agreement with Nelson Heights Community Services, Inc., as lessee/tenant, to convey a leasehold estate for the county owned property located at 7200 Laseter St SW, Covington, GA, also known as the Nelson Heights Community Center, for the following rent, as stated in the lease: 


In lieu of rent, Lessee shall deliver consideration to Lessor by providing community services to all eligible citizens of Newton County. 

So, to recap, a ten year lease of a county owned property with not a single penny being paid in rent.

First off, this lease seems to have some validity requirement issues in that there is not any valuable consideration involved. Not even a $10 & love & affection or anything.

One has to wonder if this lease is even valid.

Regardless, this lease was indeed executed, hands & seals set & affixed, on August 1st of last year by the following parties:

- Marcello Banes, Chairman of the Board of Commissioners of Newton Co., as lessor

- J.C. Henderson, Chairmain of Nelson Heights Community Services, Inc., as lessee

The lease was apparently prepared by County Attorney Megan Martin & was attested, witnessed & notarized.

It seems concerning that the county would enter into this lease just 8 months after it was revealed in the 2016 forensic audit that there were major, major concerns with Nelson Heights.

From the TPC write-up of November 29, 2018 2016*: 

[There were] major concerns in the report with the running of the Nelson Heights center. Concerns of mismanagement, improper accounting practices, questionable expenditures, etc. In his report, Sawyers believes that financial damages to the county in the amount of approx. $43,000 occurred  because of this.

Earlier this year, after questions were raised about possible conflicts of interest at Nelson Heights & whether or not JC Henderson should recuse himself from being able to vote on the Newton County budget, a change was purportedly made with the regards to the Nelson Heights Board of Directors.  Anthony Henderson, JC's son who is also a county employee as well as a city of Covington Councilman, was made the new CEO of the Nelson Heights Board of Directors based on a report of the secretary's minutes that was given to the publication by a source which showed that the three members of this board - JC Henderson, Sandy Henderson & Anthony Henderson, all immediate family members - voted to make this change.

Questions have also been recently raised about the the proper accounting of monies currently with Nelson Heights. In addition to being funded out of Newton Co.'s regular M & O budget, Nelson Heights also allows people to rent out their facilities for parties & other events for a fee. Multiple attempts have been made from others to get this information, but so far to no avail. And there are other concerns as well. There's a county vehicle for Nelson Heights that some have alleged that both JC & Anthony use as a personal vehicle. I've seen them both driving it a pretty good bit myself.

There certainly seem to be a lot of questions with this situation.

I plan on reaching out to Chairman Banes, JC Henderson, County Attorney Martin & others in the next week or so & will definitely file a second report on this story.

Thank you for reading.

- MB McCart


*incorrect date for previous TPC article was edited. 

14 November 2018

[Perrin Lovett] - The Dastardly Legume

The Dastardly Legume

All events herein transpired last week in Anytown, USA.

*******

Police Dispatch Radio, 9:14 AM

P-Nut 3: ‘Responding … 7-3-2 at Carver Middle, East Main…’

Dispatcher: ‘All units … P3, be advised calling code 3.’

P-Nut 5: ‘Roger. Cover is code 3.’

Dispatcher: ‘All units: central office and north wing evacuating. South wing in lockdown. Advising Planters High lockdown.’

K-9 1: ‘Which school code 3? Over.’

Dispatcher: ‘All units: cover fire rescue on arrival. … Debbie call Crosstown for additional ambulances.’

Debbie: ‘[garbled].’

K-9 1: ‘Which school? Over.’

Lt. Jif: ‘Mobilize ALL units. Pan is ground commander. 7-3-2 in progress at George Washington Carver Middle School. 300 East Main Street. Situation critical. Casualties unknown. Suspect mobile and dangerous.’

Dispatcher: ‘Sheriff’s S.W.A.T. inbound.’

Lt. Jiff: ‘We may need their F.L.I.R. Call the Highway Patrol for air. … Clear the Sam’s parking lot for Medevac. Close off Main and seal the perimeter.’

Sgt. P. Pan: ‘Ground C.C. in route. ETA five.’

Dispatcher: ‘ G.C.C.: coordinate with HAZMAT upon arrival.’

Sgt. Pan: ‘Roger. … Anybody know where Skippy’s kid is?’

Debbie: ‘In class … at Carver.’

Pan: ‘Jesus, protect us.’

*******

5 the Hive, Live, Breaking News, 9:52 AM:

Morning Anchor: ‘Breaking news in Anytown. Authorities in Anytown are responding to an emergency situation at George Washington Carver Middle School and Center for STEM Excellence in Standardized Testing. 5 the Hive learned, minutes ago, that the situation may involve a possible chemical attack. We do not, at this time, know if this is a terror attack or yet another school shooting. Our own P.B. Jay is on the scene. P.B., what do we know?’

Reporter Jay: ‘Pandemonium here at Carver Middle. I’m across Main looking at the campus. You can see … over my shoulder … we have fire trucks, ambulances, dozens of police. A S.W.A.T. team is preparing to make entry.’

Anchor: ‘Have you heard of any students or others harmed or … otherwise?’

Jay: ‘I’m seeing … we have hundreds of students and teachers exiting the building. You can see them with their hands raised for safety. The authorities are not taking any chances. And … I have here Assistant School Superintendent Aller Gee. Mrs. Gee, do we know exactly what has happened or if there are any casualties?’

Mrs. Aller Gee: ‘All of our children and their safety is our only concern. I have a rumor, a report, there are several sixth graders down … [voice cracks] … our babies are... [sobbing] More may be trapped in a bathroom or science lab. I’m trying to think of the children.’

Jay: ‘Thank you. [hugs Gee] Thank you. We’re all crying, here. And, everyone, the police are directing us to back up towards the Waffle House. Two more helicopters just landing now.’

Anchor: ‘We now know there may be six children, possibly more, succumbing to injuries at Carver Middle. A terrible tragedy. We will constantly cover this story and update you regularly. Now, 5 the Hive’s Jimmy Carter has more on the cows still loose on I-19…’

*******

CNN, Don Lemon’s Pride Show, 10:01 AM:

Don Lemon: ‘It hasth happened again, America. A school shooting isth in progress at a middle school in Anytown. Local sthationsth are now reporting over six dozen children have been shot, possibly by right-wing extremisthsss. ATF field director Charles Shultzsss is on the air with us. Mr. Shultzsss, is this shooting a hate crime?’

Dir. Shultz: ‘Well. For starters we don’t even know if this is a shooting. It’s certainly an emergency of some kind. I haven’t heard … and I just hung up with the State police … heard of any fatalities or other harm yet. To call this, at this time, another school shooting seems like fake ne….’

Lemon: ‘There you haveths it. Another, and maybe the worst, domessstic terror attack on minorities ever perpetrated on American soil. Likely the work of supporters of the Pressidenth’sss deranged agenda of hate. I trusth Chelsea Handler is dissrobing - not that I am interesthed.’

*******

Text from Mandy Ubi to her Mother, 10:10 AM:

‘Mom. IM n class under a desk waiting. WE R skered. Ok were skered now Ms. lucy siad shelter in plase. I hered teen gunshoot. She say he is somwere in our bulding. Roby is missin.’


‘ps lost my plege against critical think. BUTT benchmark texts reskelduled to firday.’


*******

Tweets from the President, 10:29 - 10:30 AM:


-----


*******

Mad Moms Excited by Anaphylaxis, Nuts, and Tomfoolery (MEANT), Blog Post, 11:07 AM:

‘So, Moms, HOW many times do our children, our most precious possession, the very reason we frivorce, our little soccer balls to helicopter, have to SUFFER before something is D.O.N.E.???!!!???!!!

I just got off the phone, dropping bombs with Rep. Debbie Wasserman Shultz’s office, demanding ACTION!!!

Babies can’t breath!

Babies can’t educate!

Babies, our babies, can’t not be available for “dad’s” calls!

MSNPC is saying SIX whole school districts may be effected. Hundreds may be dead. This is the 9/12 of our cause!

Enough is ENOUGH, Moms of AMERCA. We ACT NOW!

PS: LOL. Check my Insta, nutty beothes!!!’

*******

CNBC, Rick Santelli from Chicago, 1:10 PM:

Rick Santelli: ‘Sue, all agri futures are suffering. And you know this is a result of Anytown.’

Sue Herera: ‘So, it’s to buy?’

Santelli: ‘Definitely time to buy!’

Herera: ‘Are you watching Mylan’s prices, Rick?’

Santelli: ‘Mylan is through the roof. Has to be … possibly is all this new, emergency ordering for the Epipen. The Anytown effect. Bad news but, you have to understand the market, the best news, here, since Elon Musk lit the doobie.’

Herera: ‘So, time to buy Mylan?’

Santelli: ‘Buy, buy, buy, baby! Buy and bye, Sue. Back to you.’

Herera: ‘Buy … bye Rick.’

*******

Telephone Call from Mary Sue to Murdis, 1:21 PM:

Mary Sue: ‘They say it’s something worse than a shooting. Worse than drinking a Pepsi.’

Murdis: ‘Jesus don’t like Pepsi.’

Mary Sue: ‘He don’t like the little brown nutties neither. No. “I gave you the green plants to eat,” He said. Them children is misbehavin’ and it’s a-coming back to ‘em.’

Murdis: ‘John’s boy wouldn’t ever be part of any such. It’s them others that I worry about. Ain’t right. Dressing like that and those phones. Forknite they call it.’

Mary Sue: ‘Crowns for Heaven...’

*******

Joint Statement from Nancy Pelosi, Charles Schumer, Cory Booker, and the Combined Democratic Social Progress Caucus, 1:43 PM:

‘Chairman Mao once said, “children in the classroom are like rice in the furnace.”

We all know what he means by that and, today, we all know what our President means by continuing to constantly ignore school violence, school funding, RUSSIAN Collusion, and general indifference to the civility that makes America the original proposition nation.

Our thoughts are with the young students of Anytown, especially those newly arrived via caravan. Our thoughts are on the prayers of a nation - please keep those out of our schools. And, also keep out all those instruments of deplorable terrorism. School should indoctrinate our young, be places where they fear to think or speak.

The time is now for a Blue Wave of college for all, secure from fear of anything except fear. We must act now to enact sensible and TOTAL gun control. We must raise taxes.’

*******

Rush Limbaugh’s Radio Show, 2:03 PM:

‘Friends, they’re not even telling us what is happening at that school. CNN, MSNPC, Nancy Pelosi - they call it a shooting. All I hear is that there’s some problem. A problem. And it may have something to do … something chemical.

Is this ISIS? We don’t know. We don’t know anything. And, listen now, that’s where Lifelock comes in. You don’t have time monitor what your kids eat at school, let alone the credit you worked so hard to est…’

*******

The Alex Jones Show, 3:00 PM:

‘What this is … all this is, is an attempt by Nazi-collaborator George Soros to control our children and their minds. We have a picture of a crisis actor, ON THE SCENE, in a top hat and wearing a monocle. You can bet your vitamins on this one. You tell me what’s going on!’

*******

Text from M.B.M to P.B.L., in re: the Piedmont Chronicles, 3:33 PM:

‘Could you lay off the “fiction” please? National affairs don’t need embellishment and, frankly, Kayla’s a little upset. PS: Go DAWGS!’

********

Governor’s Press Conference at Carver Middle School, 4:00 PM:

‘I am pleased to announce that the day’s emergency situation at George Washington Carver Middle School and Center for Standardized Testing Excellence and Magnet Technology ...
Is over.

While it seems that no children were ever actually harmed, or even threatened, we must remain vigilant about just what could have happened. This is our school. Your school. Anytown. Any school.

Before I discuss what unfolded today, I’d like to thank all of our first responders.Thank you, to all the police, firemen, EMTs, wrecker operators, pilots, chemical warfare specialists, Republican voters, and - most especially - to our greatest ally. We owe you and will continue to pay our debts. The ATF, our Twitter-in-Chief, the janitor with that mop. Remember to vote. Our state is strong because we continue to make the trade for eternal safety.

What happened today is inexcusable. Through utter carelessness and disregard for school policy, state law, and common sense, the offending subject was allowed onto this campus. Allowed around all of these very small and vulnerable children.

Make no mistake. What could have happened is beyond our worst nightmares. My lips are swelling just from that thought. The doctors at Crosstown and Mercy Metro. Our veterans. Think and let us pray.

The suspect, like the intended victims, was very small. Small in stature but a veritable Godzilla in terms of purely raw, life-taking power. For all listening and watching: these little brown monsters are simply not allowed in our schools. Not in our cafeterias. Not in our backpacks. No in the car lines nor the buses.

Just one … just a single one of these walking, rolling, crunchy weapons of mass destruction has the potential to kill all of our students - not one in twenty, as you’re told by the fake news - but all of them. Most adults too.

But … not today.

Today, because of our dedication, our vigilance, and our determination, the unthinkable has been prevented. Again, we owe our very lives to all our first responder heroes.

The school will be closed for the indeterminate future. The buildings will have to be cleaned, sanitized, perhaps razed. But no cost is too great for safety. The safety of our beloved little ones.

Hear me now, all voters of good conscious: the offending PEANUT has been isolated, contained, and DESTROYED! God bless Anytown and God bless America!

*******

Pic by Richard North.

***The preceding was work of satirical fiction, hopefully humorous. The style one may recall from a certain 1897 novel by Stoker. No children, peanuts, nor politicians were harmed in the concocting of this monstrosity.

- Perrin Lovett


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