14 October 2019

Ellis Millsaps: Son of a Preacher Man, Ch 7 - Preacher's Kid at School

-- Read the Previous Installments of Ellis Millsaps' ...

I have spoken to many a redneck who’ve told me ”I knew if I got paddling at school I would get a worse one when I got home.”

To this I say “Do you have shit for brains?  Why would you tell your parents you got a paddling at school given your foresight of the consequences?”

I suppose the school could call and tell your parents, but it never happened in my case  and I received a few paddlings in school. Along with smoking in the woods it was part of my street cred.  If a child were corporally punished at school today it would be on the news, but in the late 50s and the 60s paddling with a bolo paddle, most commonly, was a daily occurrence.

My first paddling came in the fourth grade as a result of a water battle in which I engaged with one Tommy Watson.  I don't recall who fired the first shot but it came about when we were at neighboring sinks washing our hands before lunch. It involved holding one’s finger over the spout and directing the spray sideways.

 The boys in line behind us were greatly amused, but no one else joined in because they knew what was coming.  The two boys whose clothes were soaked were publicly paddled.

 More about Tommy Watson.  I thought he was really cool.  I think he was a year behind in school to be in my class ( there was only one class per grade at Holly Springs Elementary until you reached the 7th grade.) Tommy had hair like Elvis. I'd always had a flat top until then, but I grew my hair out  like his and peroxided it blond.

One day we were walking up Highway 5 from my house to his when his dog who was running along ahead of us was struck in the head by a car, and Tommy said “That's one less to feed.” This was my first live experience of sang froid.  I was impressed.

 When we got to his house (dead dog beside the road) we found an older brother was home from school sick, a teenager as I recall. He was in bed smoking cigarettes. Tommy bummed one for himself and to his brother's surprise one for me, the preacher's kid. The brother was duly impressed.

My next paddling came in the 5th grade. The girls in class were given a note, a small slip of paper, to have their parents sign for permission for their daughter to receive instruction on menstruation and reproduction. It was all a total mystery to me then; (I learned about menstruation from my friend in ninth grade PE class. I was shocked and amazed.) all I knew was that no boy was supposed to see it.

 After class before the second bus ran some of us were hanging around in the classroom. Reba Mason was talking with some girls, gesturing with her hands, in one of which  the notorious paper slip waived.

 I thought it would be funny to snatch it.  So I did. I had no intention of reading it. In fact I was laughing and handing it back to her when she clawed me drawing blood.

Then I got my paddling from Ms Dunn.

 I later got a paddling from mean Mr. Reese, the only male teacher, for running in the hall. No warning, just a beating .Not much street cred for running in the hall.

 I didn't get another one till I was a junior in high school. I was in Bookkeeping class because it was the only class available to me at sixth period. By this time I had started doing my homework and making all 99s and 100s, boosting my academic average for the benefit of college admissions.

 At West Fannin there were always four or five permanent substitutes. They came early in the year when the certified teachers got a job at a better school and stayed the rest of the year. You were lucky if they had themselves graduated high school.

The gentleman teaching bookkeeping was one such. To say he taught the class is something of a misnomer. He made work assignments from the textbook then graded them. They were ridiculously easy. I was in a room of students who were not college bound. 

 One day for amusement I stacked a tower of empty desks which was nearing the ceiling when Mr Permanent Substitute said something to the effect of “That better not fall over.”  Of course it did with a mighty crash.

 By this time, 1968, they had to at least get another teacher out in the hall to observe the paddling...


09 October 2019

Perrin Lovett: REPO-ing the Economy

The economy is roaring along. Record low unemployment. Banks have never been stronger. DOW is way up there somewhere. Everything is fine. Go back to sleep. Kindly ignore the constant hum from the printing presses down in the Financial District. 

Consider this a sequel to my September 24th column on the same subject. That was like a long time ago. You’ve probably forgotten. Waaay back then, starting on September 16th, the New York Fed announced they were injecting just a tiny bit of extra cash into the [VERY HEALTHY AND IN NO WAY ABOUT TO COLLAPSE] commercial banks. “Tiny bit” could have been estimated at around $2 Trillion. Could have. Who, honestly, knows? The program was supposed to last until October Tenth. But why cut short such a good thing?

Now, it’s going to run through and until November Fourth. Fifty days of free fiat funny money. Fifty days. At one-hundred and five billion dollars per day. That’s … let’s see, Gawd… Okay, 105 x 50 = … Hang on… I get … gonna run this straight out, numerically: $5,250,000,000,000. That’s just a shit ton of… Oh! Hang on, again. They’ve attempted to obfuscate with the REPO BUCKS!!! (like a lottery game, but where the ticket is forced upon you and you have to pay out the jackpot…). Something about, in addition to a flat daily grafting of $75 Bn, another $35 Bn, but only twice a week, unless the moon is full. Originally, it was $30 Bn… It’s still… 

Well, hell! The “zero” button on my calculator broke. 

How on Earth do we explain this??? I thought a little ditty appropriate:

“Crystal ball on the table,
Showin’ the banksters the graft. 
Same scheme with them evil lies. 
And, I knew it was a ton of cash. 
[Da-Da-Da-Da-Da…]
It’s just an asset REPO,
with money on their mind.
BEWARE THE ASSET REPO!
They’re gonna GET YOU!!!”

[SINCEREST APOLOGIES TO CLIFF RICHARD] [Really, so sorry, man…]

Waaay back when, I promised: “Excuses aplenty will be quietly provided.” And, right on cue, excuses were made. The banks had those pesky quarterly tax payments. Washington unloaded some worthless debt onto unsuspecting marks. Kanye got all churchy. Like I wrote previously, “The dog ate my liquidity, Mrs. Wall Street!” 

We’re told: "The operation schedule and parameters are subject to change if market conditions warrant or should the FOMC alter its guidance to the desk.” Translation: We have no idea what we’re doing. This charade will continue or expand as needed ad infinitum.

Not satisfied with that word salad nor anything provided by the (lapdog) financial press, and not finding any explanation of the NYF website, I flew up to Noo Yawk last Friday for an in-person assessment. When I asked Gov. John Williams and the visiting Jerome Powell what the hell was going on, they had this to say:

Williams and Powell, from their popular TeeVee “comedy” skit.

I’m not the only one noticing that something is amiss in The Bagel. Bernie Sanders was so shocked that he had a mild heart attack. Donald Trump tweeted something bordering on illiterate. Elizabeth Warren cracked a beer in her kitchen and burped. You’ve no doubt heard all the commotion from the CNN-FOX-CNBC-CBS-CIA-WAPO-WSJ-cabal news. Ordinary folks have noticed too. A few of them left surprisingly intelligent and angry commentary following the above-cited article. Hereafter, I try to address some of their concerns:

“What is the point of a reserve requirement if they cannot meet it? And what are these proceeds for? I heard to keep hedge funds and other risk-taking financial institutions solvent. Why is this sector always getting supported to keep their gravy train going at our expense? The market is telling you something, and trying to correct itself. Why does the Fed keep interfering?” - “Joseph”

Thanks, Joseph. It’s because the Fed consists of a nefarious bunch of liars and thieves.

“The banking sector is in a much larger crisis than anyone realizes.” - “G.H.”

You damn right, dawg!

“anyone else think the fed is lying to us again, just like hank paulsen 11 years ago? tell me again why this monopoly bank is allowed to invent hundreds of billions of dollars every night to prevent the collapse of our banking system, and congress seems to not know or care?” - “Loren”

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!! Congress!!! Oh, Lord… Seriously, it’s because the Fed owns the government, lock, stock, and barrel. Make sure to vote next November!

“Free market?! Think again.” - “Zhaoyun”

Woah, chief! They don’t like us using the “F” word in this country, now. T-word either. FYI, they’ll sic the ADL and SPLC on you ASAP. LOL.

Does this move amount to QE Infinity? If so, think of the grand possibilities! If the Creature prints fake money to cover corporate taxes, then why not print more to cover all taxes? If my pre-abacus demise figure of $5 Trillion is anywhere close to accurate, then that’s more than the FedGov spends in a sordid fiscal year. We could pay for everything and more! Without ever worrying about the IRS. Medicare for all? Done! Green New Deal? Paid for! Deal of New Green? Sure! Pot for every chicken? Libertarian delight! 

But hey… Just don’t let “Zhaoyun” come along with another of the forbidden words, the H-word. As in, hyper-inflation. That just can’t happen here. Germany, Zimbabwe, Argentina, and Venezuela are foreign parts, not at all like us. We’re exceptional. As proof of such, I posit that our sorcerers use the biggest, bestest crystal ball for a game called Repo Bucks. That ain’t ordinary. That ‘Murican. Everything is fine.

08 October 2019

Phil Johnson Selected as Newton Co. Board of Elections Chair; Concerns & Questions Abound

By: MB McCart, Ed. 

Last Tuesday as its regular meeting the Newton Co. Board of Commissioners (BOC) had a few things on the agenda including replacing the man - Hugh Steele - who'd served as Chairman of the county's Board of Elections (BOElec) for decades. The BOC voted, unanimously, to select Phil Johnson as the new Chair of this county board. 

There'd been talk over the last few weeks that the BOC had been indeed zeroing in on Johnson & it really wasn't surprising to this writer. I mean, it's just the reality of the situation. You've got three Democrats on the BOC (really 4 if you add Ronnie Cowan), and...is what it is.

What bothered some, though, was that there was really no discussion or questions as to the process of Johnson's selection, nor to the seemingly nonchalant brushing aside of the historical (and codified) methodology of having a "non-partisan" selection as the Chair of the BOElec.

Because, obviously, Phil Johnson isn't a non-partisan. I mean, hell, he was Chairman of the Newton Co. Democratic Party a year ago! And I believe he's ran as a Democrat for public office...at least five times, if you go back to his days of the Georgia General Assembly.

So, there you have it on that front.

However, the big gripe that I'm hearing from many is due to the fact that there are issues with Johnson & his past that some think should have precluded him from this position. 


Here's a piece of mine from last year: 

Attorney Phil Johnson's Greatest Hits

As reported by a few publications, the city of Covington has recently denied a rezoning request for a particular tract of land, owned by Freddy Neely, in which Phil was involved to facilitate said zoning change for a large, multifamily development. Many folks were not thrilled about the prospect of such a large development & cheered the decision. In addition, the city had previously instituted a 60-day moratorium to be able to revisit & tweak their ordinances in preparation for the apparent incoming onslaught of growth & new development, and that, in my estimation, was a great move by this forward-thing city council we are fortunate to have.

But going back to Phil, he's kind of an easy target for derision in our community. Now don't get me wrong, he's got his fans, supporters & cheerleaders, but like many of us, he's got a good number of detractors & "haters."

Before I get into the list, let me just say this: I like Phil. He's a cool dude. Great conversationalist, obviously smart as hell. Personally, I like him. He's just one of those special guys. Always reminds me of "A Man in Full," the genius work from the recently departed Tom Wolfe (RIP). Especially the part about the guy the main character remembers reading about - (paraphrasing) - a man, from humble & hardscrabble origins, who had it all; lost it all; had it all again; lost it all again, etc.  


The old fella has built it back up pretty good, hasn't he?

Another gripe by many in & around the home city & county is how Phil may have been as responsible as anyone for the "Great Selling Out of Newton Co." back in the late 90s & early aughts. Well, if you're going to pick one, I might have to vote for Hubert Huberto White, but really the biggest blame has to be laid on the feet of the multiple editions of the Newton Co. BOC during that time (so, again, Hubert).

Oh well, regardless, here's some of the best of the best of Phil:

- the alleged driving force of the Mosque deal out in the western part of Newton. Once again representing land owner Freddy Neely in a situation that left many scratching their heads as how it could've gone completely under the radar until former Newton BOC Chair Keith Ellis took it upon himself to break the story to the Newton Citizen.

       - Speaking of Freddy Neely, it is my understanding that Phil, as his legal representation, was integrally involved with getting the city to basically throw out most of the specific, detailed ordinance in the by-pass corridor that several other businesses had to follow when it came to the development of Freddy's distilled-spirit behemoth - Nitro 2 Go.

- he was the attorney involved in the infamous Bad News Bear Creek deal which saw Newton Co. pay approx. 1 & 1/2 million bucks for some land only to eventually quit-claim it back to the original landowners.

- and there are others, some maybe true, going back to the 1980s. But, let's not forget this one: 



- being singularly responsible - and Phil will tell you this - for bringing Wm Thomas Craig, Esq. to Newton Co. in 1975.

Atty Phil Johnson, folks! The gift that keeps on giving... 

Finally, some were specifically upset with BOC1 Representative Stan Edwards for not at least voting against Johnson's selection. Plus, there were questions as to whether or not Stan was going to set up a Phil Johnson Fan Club.

Well, I spoke with my friend Stan, and he responded back basically telling me what I already knew. See the aforementioned reality of the situation I referenced at the beginning of this article. Hey, that's just how it is. And Stan did tell me that being on the losing end of 4-1 votes gets pretty old & though sometimes, but that maybe some political capital could be earned to help his representation of the 1st District's Citizens as well as Newton Co. as a whole.

I can dig it.

Okay for now, 'til next time. 

- MB McCart 

02 October 2019

Perrin Lovett: TPC Exclusive! An Interview With Dr. Thomas H. Ironsides, Ph.D.

I’m more excited about the following article than I have been since my recounting of the hot little Mossad girls from the malls of yore. This being the National Affairs desk, I thought it a great idea to run some current and pressing issues by the man with the training and insight beyond belief. I caught up with Professor Ironsides - not the easiest endeavor - for a dinner conversation one evening at The Peddler Steak House in Boone, NC. Please enjoy; transcription follows:

Ladies and Gentlemen! Tom Ironsides! Had just stepped off camera, left...

[The back “western” nook, past the soup and salad bar].

Perrin: “Recording… Tom, again, it’s so great to see you. How’ve you been?”

Tom: “Again, it’s Doctor Ironsides if you please.”

Perrin: “So, Tom, great! MB and the whole TPC audience are really excited to hear all about your opinions on national and world affairs. Where should we start?”

Tom: “TPC? Who the hell is MB?”

Perrin: “Newton County? Georgia? The pizza with Ariana last Spring? It may be confusing coming into the real world for a column. Sorry.”

Tom: “Okay. Sure. It is a little odd. Colors seem slightly different. You look different, this side of the keyboard. Duller and wimpier. Anyway, what do you and your friends want to know?”

Perrin: “Thanks. You must be excited with The Substitute and all!”

Tom: “Oh. I knew it! Here comes the plug for that sad excuse of a novel. The one even I struggled to make interesting…”

Perrin: “Right. The one you hijacked. Was supposed to be a nonfictional expose on the…”

Tom: “Hijacked! I like that. Yeah, the one that otherwise would have never been completed. Another COMING SOON, meaning NEVER, book by Perrin Lovett. Ingrate.”

Perrin: “The one where you were created, you…”

[Young co-ed waitress approaches the table].

Waitress: “Hi, boys! Need more drinks?”

Perrin: “Thanks, darling. I’ll have another Newcastle.”

Tom: “Same here, sweetie. Thanks.”

[Waitress skips back to the bar].

Tom: “Damn. Create some more of those in the next book!”

Perrin: “I know, right?! So…”

Tom: “The book is pretty good. Once one gets by the awkwardness of the writing. Wandering plot. Lack of discipline. An important subject. The protagonist is great.”

Perrin: “Thanks. I guess. Tell me, which was worse, the wars, or the government schools?”

Tom: “I came to see them as one and the same. Or, at least as two parts of the same terrible degradation of our culture. Personally, and this may be hard to believe, but the schools hurt worse. Getting shot was just me. Anything I saw or did out there was just on me. The schools? So many affected. In the classrooms, it is manifestly obvious what damage is done to countless innocent lives.”

Perrin: “Do you see or think you…”

Tom: “All of it perpetrated by the same class of moronic evil-doers. It’s no surprise the way they prey on the children. Their contempt for mankind knows no limit.”

Perrin: “What I was asking. Exactly. Moving on… How are the new center and the classical school development progressing?”

Tom: “Baby steps. It’s refreshing to be back in a genuinely academic setting. You know - you really know - we’re right around the corner here, uh, in the … book world? The school is likely … it’s still on the drawing board, honestly. But, getting attention. We see tremendous opportunity, nationwide, through an online program for intelligent homeschoolers. The center is just Maddie, Ari, and myself, for the moment. That too is garnering interest all over. And, as of just recently, we have a real office. A website. We’re getting there. The college couldn’t be more helpful.”

Perrin: “Those not familiar with Part Three may not follow what we’re discussing.”

Tom: “Read faster! Hang on. Is it even out yet?”

Perrin: “Ha! Oh, speaking of crazy… Now, I’d like to take a brief moment and announce something else of extreme interest and tantalizing possibility. We here at TPC and the C.F. Floyd Column for National Affairs proudly welcome our newest sponsor and advertising partner, The Aurelius Foundation. Aurelius, headquartered in Washington, D.C., and Paris, has been providing strategic insight and actionable intelligence for over thirty years. If your bank, government, NGO, or other deep-pocketed concern has a need for global information geared towards decisively terminating and/or profiting from conflict, then please contact them. We’re so glad they’re along for the ride! As they put it: ‘There is knowledge, or there is failure.’ Thank you, dear new friends, and welcome!”


Tom: “What the holy hell was THAT!?! AURELIUS?! Really? Do you even know what…”

Perrin: “Relax, big guy. I’m sure they’re something else entirely in the real world. Besides, we haven’t even written that animosity just yet beyond the sketches. Just an ad.”

01 October 2019

Ellis Millsaps: An Open Letter to Elizabeth Warren

Dear Ms. Warren:

I'm taking pen in hand to write you old school style, you know, while listening to my record player. Be assured I think you are the most highly qualified candidate for president. You've done your homework and have plausible plans to attack the myriad of problems we face, but I write to ask you to modify your position on universal health care.

And I ask this not because you were not right.  You are dead right. Single-payer healthcare will insure everyone at a much lower cost.  The people who question how we will pay for it insult America. The rest of the developed world does it.  Are Americans not up to it? Hell, Cuba does it.

And it's not that I think you need to do this to win the presidential election,  As it stands now ( and it's only going to get worse for the president, because he will continue to be himself,) a potted plant could beat him in the next election. ( And wouldn't that be an improvement? They don't text you know.)

No, it's about achieving the desired end.  The problem is this: labor unions, a mainstay of your party's coalition, have bargained to get what Obama called “Cadillac”  insurance plans , and are not going to react kindly to the abolition of corporate health insurance. This won't lose you the election, but it will cost you in congressional races. Congressional members from those important industrial states with strong unions will not support a plan to abolish private healthcare. Democrats may lose seats on this account and the ones who hold their seats won't support your plan.

Slow down Senator Warren. This problem will take care of itself.  Yes it will cost taxpayers more to phase in universal health care, but if you start with making Medicare available to everyone private healthcare will soon wither and die. When the unions see that they can get very good governmental health care for free they'll soon renegotiate their contracts to get another $20 per hour instead of corporate healthcare.

The same thing will happen with white collar workers who get healthcare from their employers.  Payments for healthcare are not taxable to either employer or employee, another example of a socialist program to benefit big business, in this case insurance companies. They also will forgo  health insurance for higher salaries.

This is something I'm not hearing anyone talk about.  It relates to how we will pay for Medicare for all. When all of these workers get substantial pay hikes, not only is the economy improved but these workers will pay income tax on their higher paychecks, a huge boost to the treasury.

But yes Ms. Warren, we still need a wealth tax for the good of us all.


30 September 2019

Newton Co. Kabuki Political Theater Apropos de Tax Commissioner

By MB McCart



I don't think I know Dana Darby but I plan on introducing myself tomorrow with an email since I'm pretty sure she'd be the ORR Official for the office of Tax Commissioner now.

Just looking for the REAL story, folks.

I might also ask about any emails that support her claims in the most recent Sunday, print edition of The Covington News. Because, frankly, a lot of folks simply aren't buying it.

And then today we see the online fluff piece from the aforementioned publication & one really has to wonder about things.

Regardless, I hope Ms. Darby is up for the challenge that is surely coming her way.

We shall see...

- MB McCart

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