31 March 2019

[MB McCart] - TPC Sunday Edition: The Real C-town; #COV Council Time; Sheriff Brown to BOC, Pt. Deux & a Moment from MB

This Sunday Edition Proudly Presented by...

2185 Pace St 

Happy Sunday, TPCers!

Dang, Girl! Where'd you get them pants!? Nice...

So another week in the book of the home city & county. We had some laughs, some good times & bad, but it was another week here in the Glorious Georgia Piedmont, which makes it the best week (and the weather wasn't half-bad, either). 

C-town Representin' 

This past week a poll made the rounds on the book of faces as to which city, for once & for all, is the true C-town. Well, naturally, it's a slam dunk that that title belongs to Covington & certainly not Conyers. Let's look at the tale of the tape, shall we?

Covington: incorporated in 1822; Conyers: 1854

Newton County: created in 1821; Rockdale County: created in 1870 (with most of it being cut out of Newton Co.)

My research on this subject over the years has verified that people were calling Covington "C-town" as far back as the 1950's, while I know for a fact that my friends & I were referring to it as that in the 1980's.

Look, Conyers, I get it. It's a bitter pill to swallow, a tough nut to crack, but you're simply not C-town. We are. Maybe it's best for y'all to just tend to your "lost children" & maybe keep an eye out for the return of the Virgin Mary. Don't hate us 'cause you ain't us, or...do. We really don't care, just keep your syphilis to yourselves, thanks & bye! 

Covington Council Time, Baby! 

Monday is not only April Fools' Day, friends, it's also the first Monday of the month which means it's time for...

The City of Covington Council Meeting! 

Again, it's just good free entertainment (though it's really not free at all when you think about it). Come hear Mr. Mayor possibly mispronounce basic words, see Hawnethia shake her head & get fed up with various folks' foolishness & maybe, just maybe, if we're lucky, get a chance to see New York the Bounty Hunter up close & in person (the experts warn to not engage him, avoid eye contact & definitely don't try feeding him). Plus, it's an opportunity to see fellow members of the village that you might not normally otherwise see. It's good stuff! 

Seriously, though, this is an important one. The Cause Du Jour of seeking satisfaction & equity for our long mistreated barbers, cosmetologists & hairdressers is so close one can practically taste it. Now, it looks like $10 is a done deal, but to achieve true justice we need to just drop that by ten bucks. Get by tomorrow - April 1 - at 6:30 PM to help support Freedom & Liberty!   

Sheriff Brown To Address BOC, 2.0 

As this publication reported at the time, Sheriff Ezell Brown decided to skip out on his budget presentation last week. According to some sources, the Sheriff was either unaware, or had "forgot" that he was on deck last Wednesday to give his pitch to the BOC, the actual governing authority of the home county, though another source said it was an intentional slight because the Sheriff was displeased with the county manager, Loyd Kerr, for already readjusting the Sheriff's initial proposal. 

Per official notice from the BOC Clerk, the Sheriff will now be presenting his budget this upcoming Tuesday morning, the 2nd, at 9AM. 

We'll see if he shows this time...

It's no secret that this publication has had many issues & concerns with the Sheriff's Department. Furthermore, it's this publication's understanding that we are quickly reaching the threshold of a "public safety crisis" in Newton, owed in part to the lack of morale & the inability of the Sheriff to be able to hire or retain qualified officers. And, in most all instances, this has nothing to do with wages as it has been verified that Newton Co. is paying deputies & bailiffs on par with many of the surrounding areas.

No, unfortunately what we are seeing in my estimation, folks, is the downward spiral & possibly the death rattle of an inefficient, poorly run & dysfunctional Sheriff's office. While many local politicos feel quite confident that Ken Malcom will be sworn in as our new Sheriff come January 2021, the big question is this - Can We make it that long? 

This is certainly a story that is very much developing. I'm working on two purportedly revealing & concerning stories on the NCSO. Be on the lookout soon... 

A Moment from MB 
Join us, join us...

Ladies & Gentlemen, as I write this it's looking as if 2019 will be the best year ever for TPC based on pageviews & that's so exciting! Also, as we're wrapping up our current advertising campaign with Rest Easy Mattress, I've got 2 previous advertisers lined up to advertise again, and at least 2 new ones coming up as well. To that point, this publication is adjusting its M.O. starting in April.

TPC will now start averaging 12-18 posts per week, basically doubling our content. And to that point:

The Piedmont Chronicles is looking to hire its first-ever staff writer. Independent Contractor status, paid either weekly or by the piece. The money would be very low but the expectations would be super high!

Reach out to TPC Editor MB McCart at: 678.712.8652 if you're interested & email a couple of writing samples to: ThePiedmontChronicles@gmail.com 

Also, one final thing. I may be at least starting the process of thinking about "life after Facebook." Like so many others, I'm wanting to try to get away from that diabolical monster as much & as quick as I can. At a minimum, I want less & less traffic coming to TPC through the Zuckersuck machine. So what I'd like for you to do is to join the TPC Email List. Just slide us an email by using this link & I'll get you added.

Alright, gang, hope all is lovely. Until next time.

MB McCart 

30 March 2019

[Melissa Parker] - City Pharmacy's Sunday Social, March 31, w/ Athens Americana Group - Cicada Rhythm

No photo description available.

Athens-based Folk & Americana group, Cicada Rhythm will be playing City Pharmacy's second-ever Sunday Social on March 31 starting at 5 PM

This duo has really made a name for themselves with their beautiful, unique blends of voice, guitar & upright bass, and Folk & Americana stylings. Signed to New West Records, the group has a heavy following in Athens & Atlanta while recently picking up their 5,000th Facebook like. 

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Andrea DeMarcus and Dave Kirslis
In anticipation of the show this writer was able to have a Q & A with Andrea DeMarcus. 

Flagpole compared your harmonies to Dave Rawlings and Gillian Welch-Tell us about the local Americana scene.
They flatter us with that quote, as I am a huge fan of Gillian and Dave. The Americana scene is small, but alive and well in Athens. Although it has more of a grunge, rock, indie, past(and present), Athens has this way of fostering any kind of musical growth. The community is supportive of every type of everything, and we love it!
Describe your songwriting process. How much is affected by your partnership versus environment? What do you try to avoid? What are some creative goals?
Dave and I are polar opposites when it comes to song writing. Where he deliberates for a week, or even a month, I wait for a muse to find me, and it’s done in 20 minutes. I think everything is affected by our partnership. We help each other finish songs, and flesh out arrangements, and our relationship is the source material and muse of many songs. 

As far as avoiding things goes, I think less about it in those terms, and more about what I TRY to do. I like to get plenty of sleep, eat well, talk to new people, and be as flexible as possible when we’re out on the road. Dave loves to make new friends, appreciates all music, and he is always on the lookout for a deal or opportunity!

Right now we’re putting together a few songs for the next record! No concrete dates for recording or release yet.
You recently participated with ATL Collective at Venkman’s “reliving the sounds of Chess Records”. Which Chess recording artist has influenced you the most?
Etta James had a huge affect on me growing up. I love her unapologetic power, and style. She has always spoke her mind, and that’s something I aspire to with my music and day to day life. Dave had a huge affinity for blues music when he was starting to play guitar. He has said that Bo Diddley’s guitar sound was a great inspiration. It was great to see him up there paying homage to a music helped shape him into the musician he is now! 
Thanks so much! Can’t wait to see you perform. Have fun @ the Spring Reunion!
Thank you! See ya soon!

Learn more about this fabulous group at their webpage & see why Flagpole Magazine had this to say about them: 

"The thing that most impresses about Cicada Rhythm's sound is how big it is, even though it's not. Cloaked in sleepy sweetness—all ringing acoustic guitar and sliding upright bass, cooed vocals with snug, Welch/Rawlings-style harmonies—the Atlanta-based duo's music lands with an impact you didn't quite see coming." 

This will be a great show, I hope to see you there.

Melissa Morgan Parker
TPC is very proud to have the talents of Melissa Morgan Parker as a Correspondent, Stringer & Contributing Writer. A multi-generational Newtonian, Mrs. Parker is a Mom, Wife, Music Lover, Artist Extraordinaire & Educator who very deeply cares about all & everyone that is the Glorious Georgia Piedmont. 

29 March 2019

[TPC] - The Music Minute: Weekend of 3/30/19 - Brought to You by Rest Easy Mattress

This edition of TPC's Music Minute is Sponsored by...

Rest Easy Mattress
2185 Pace St Covington, GA 30014
(next to BB&T, across from Hardee's)

Ron Kimble Live @ Tubby Tom's  Friday, March 29th. 7PM

Ron Kimble

The one & only Georgia Music Legend returns to Tubby Tom's this Friday in what promises to be a great show. There's just nobody like him. Amazing singer, great guitar player! From a previous write-up: 
At one time Ron tried to write down every song he either knew or played but gave up after the list hit 700 songs! While he's best known for belting out those classic Country tunes & Southern Rock, he also has an appreciation for the singer-songwriter stuff. Dylan's one of his all time faves, as is The Band & Neil Diamond. 

The list of famous musicians, in addition to the ones I mentioned, who opened for Ron or played shows with him is a long one, as is members of his bands over the years that would go on to play for the likes of Greg Allman & others. There's definitely kind of this "six degrees of Ron Kimble" thing going on. Everybody knows him; everybody respects him. He is truly a Georgia Music Legend. 

Definitely check it out, friends. 

Hank Bird & the Borderline Band Live @ Five O'Clock. Friday, March 29th. 9PM

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Hank Bird, Ladies & Gentlemen!

I know the crew at The 5 are always excited about this one:
This Friday help us welcome back Hank Bird & The Borderline Band playing all your new and used classic rock and country.
Table reservations @ 770-385-3060. See ya here....

Folks, this is "REAL-deal Country AND Classic Rock." You may want to call in to reserve a table for this one. 

And Don't Forget:

- Live Music on Friday nights @ Amici Covington 

- Live Music on Saturday nights as well @ the 5! 

- Don't forget about Good Fellas in Social Circle! 

Okay, gang, that'll do it for this round. Check back in for Melissa Parker's write-up on the City Pharmacy Social Sunday coming up on the 31st! 

Thx for reading, 

- MBM 

27 March 2019

TPC Profiles - Ken Malcolm: CPD Captain, Adjunct Professor & Candidate for Newton Co. Sheriff ***BBQ FUNDRAISER: Academy Springs - THU MARCH 28th***

Ken Malcom, Candidate for Newton Co. Sheriff
By: MB McCart, Editor

"Outstanding," was the response given to me by Ken Malcom, Criminal Investigative Division Captain of the CPD (Covington Police Department), Criminal Justice Professor & declared candidate for Newton Co. Sheriff, when asked how the campaign was going. He went on to say how "humbled by the outpouring of support" he'd seen & how it was a "testament to this movement" we've created.

We. Ken said that almost exclusively during our interview. I literally think I only counted him using the word "I" maybe just twice. That's something I mentally count when I'm talking to folks a lot of the time. Ken is truly a "we" guy, and that's actually a rarity, especially in the political arena. When he was named D.A.R.E. National Officer of the Year in 2003, it was, according to Ken, because "we had such a great team...and it was the city & county" working together. Or, the great successes that have occurred with our local, top-notch municipal law enforcement agency, the CPD, it's because "we have such a great team."

He's a team guy. I like that...

In addition to being a law enforcement officer for 33 years, Ken has also been teaching over two decades. In addition to teaching Criminal Justice at GSU Perimeter, he's also been a real estate continuing education teacher for many years teaching the Realtor Safety Defense class. 

His bio is quite impressive: 

Ken Malcom has over three decades of experience in law enforcement in Newton and Walton Counties. He joined the Covington Police Department in 1986, and he has worked on patrol and in drug enforcement, community outreach, operations, investigations, commanded the Patrol Division, Operations Division, and Criminal Investigative Division.

Ken has worked as a task force agent working major drug investigations in Newton County, as well. He is well-versed in budget management, media and public relations and has an extensive background in managing both staff and volunteers. For 25 years, he has directed the award-winning Fuzz Run, a charity 5K race that has helped thousands of Newton County’s citizens, and has become one of Georgia’s premier races. During that 25 years, Ken has also been an instrumental part of the success of his agency’s Police Who Care organization.

He has over a quarter century’s experience as an educator teaching children and adults alike. He has taught children in the D.A.R.E (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program, general safety and Sunday School. Ken has taught adults in safety and parenting programs as well as college programs. 

Ken has a Master of Science in Criminal Justice from Troy University,  he is a graduate of the FBI National Academy and has won numerous awards, including National D.A.R.E. Officer of the Year, YMCA Volunteer of the Year, and the Police Star Award for bravery. He is a member of Eastridge Community Church, where he attends with his wife, Lynn. He is a proud father and grandfather.

"After Lynn & I spoke, thought & prayed about running, we said to ourselves, "No Regrets - we're gonna work hard & leave no doubt that we did our best, with integrity & class."

As some of you know, I'm always on the hunt for the REAL Story, that's kind of my thing. And folks, to me - this is the real story. Ken Malcom is very well known & he is very well respected. And I'm not just talking about your typical Republican voters, though Ken has declared on the GOP ticket. Many folks know this fella & a ton of people have had him as a role model & a mentor with his work with the D.A.R.E. program. He's had such a profound & positive impact on so many lives.

I was talking to someone the other day, another person who has their finger on the pulse of the home county but...who you could maybe say with a different sphere of influence as this writer, and their thing was - "People know Malcom. They love him! They remember him when they were kids, and how good he was..."

No doubt, that's huge. I've known Ken for many years & I've been following Newton politics for a long, long time & he's really just in a class by himself. I think that's because Ken is just Ken. He doesn't project a persona. He's on the level. Stand-up guy. He's...REAL.

Now that's all well & good, but is he qualified? Looking over his resume, I'd sure as hell say so. His experience, education, designations & affiliations as well as the fact that he's been responsible for the budgeting & management of multiple different divisions over the years definitely makes him fully qualified in my estimation, whatever that's worth.

Malcom for Sheriff 2020

Friends, look for for multiple future reports on Ken in the future, including a follow-up piece in which I delve more into the particulars of our conversation that I immensely enjoyed. Moving forward, over the next several months, I'll be talking with Captain Malcom here & there about his specific vision & platform for Newton Co. in 2020 & beyond.

I'll also be reaching out to Sheriff Ezell Brown. It's no secret that this writer has had issues with the Sheriff on manymany, many, things. 

And last but not least, it's BBQ time! Be sure to get by Lions Club Pavilion at Academy Springs on Thursday, March 28th. 11 to 7PM. $12 per plate.  

And don't forget about that BBQ Fundraiser, folks! The Home County's Who's Who of BBQ Enthusiasts Put This Together & There's Gonna Be Some Mighty Fine Pork w/ All the Fixins! Lions Club Pavilion at Academy Springs Park - THU MARCH 28TH 11-7pm

As he told me, Ken truly wants to reach out & hear from all of Newton Co. He wants to talk to you. You can swing by tomorrow & talk with him in person. You can also give the campaign a ring at: 

(770) 771-3398 

Visit his campaign FB page atwww.facebook.com/kenforasafernewton/ 

Visit his website: www.kenmalcomforsheriff.com/

Again, more to come in the near future. As always, thanks for reading. 

- MB McCart, Editor 

[Perrin Lovett] - The Old College Try: Nation Concentrates on One of Many Higher Ed Scandals ***With Mueller Report Note***

A week or two back, the news broke of a DOJ crackdown on several score celebrities, all accused of bribing and lying their children’s way into elite colleges. The better-heeled Americans allegedly paid big money and told tall tales about Little Suzie; the colleges allegedly lapped it all up.

Some actresses I’d never heard of and some others stand indicted, facing prison time. Some of the children (not indicted) are “influencers,” celebrities because they are celebrities are some such rubbish. People like this undertake such nefarious actions because, A, they can, and B, because they’re kids were not bright enough to qualify otherwise.

Announcing the investigation, U.S. Attorney Andrew Lelling made an interesting statement: “For every student admitted through fraud, an honest and genuinely talented student was rejected.” My thoughts at the time:

How is this scam any different than that of affirmative discrimination, outside of the massive difference in scale. Genuinely talented students lose out by the thousands or the millions, year to year and generation to generation. Just replace “rich parents” and “sake of their children” with “the state” and “globalization.” Fraud is fraud, even in a conspiracy theory. Nice of someone to notice. May the sentiment and the action spread.

And, for what it’s worth, I’ll bet a dollar to a Yale diploma that most of the elites being charged here generally support the government’s insidious programs as well. The enemy’s consistency again.

The fallout includes at least two civil suits, one by potentially negatively affected students and one by a parent. One suit seeks $500 Million in damages. I’m not sure if that’s about justice or about ju$tice. Time, maybe juries, will tell.

I’ve been thinking further about this scandal and reading the thoughts of others too. The celebrity trash scandal is but one of many afflicting a damaged system. Some of the others include:

Partially Systemic Nepotism

Or, as some folks call it, blatt. This is part of the accusation against Harvard over the ancient school’s admissions policies. The suit was filed by highly qualified (East) Asians, who were given the shaft in order to admit applicants of lower academic quality. The theory goes that certain, special people have wormed their way into the process. They thereby do for their offspring what high-income, low-IQ people do, except the Harvardites don’t have to lie or bribe, already being embedded. Sometimes purchase money is in order, though it’s well masked to avoid scrutiny. The Kushner family comes to mind. Asians are the plaintiffs; whites should take note of the discovery and outcome (if any).

Veritas indeed.

The Athletic Racket

This one is well-known and apparently beloved or forgiven by the masses. The star recruit who can’t read and can’t spell “m-a-t-h” somehow not only gets in but gets in with a full ride. My dad used to occasionally deal with this anomaly at Mississippi State. “Tyrone,” the standout _____ position player, did nothing all semester and failed accordingly. A panicked coach would call our house to cajole or intimidate - something about academic eligibility. Then again, it was really hard to cajole or intimidate a 280-pound Marine with tenure, guns, and an ultra-high IQ.

The feetsball shuffle is (sometimes) part of the overall program of fraud known as ...

Affirmative Discrimination

You know all about it. Someone’s ancestor, like all of our ancestors at some point, had it rough. However, unlike us, the lucky disparate impactors get a pass - check a box and get a 300-point bump as needed.

Sandra Day O’Connor told us, in Grutter v. Bollinger, 539 U.S. 306 (2003), that this theft of opportunity, while historically necessary and permissible temporarily, should have a time limit. She’s retired now and I’ll call it … times up for affirmative fraud.

Systemic Fraud

This is the biggie. This is what some of my other education columns have partially addressed. Just like the government K - 12 schools, many (or most) state-run colleges and more than a few private schools, especially the “elites,” are corrupt to the point of no return. Their own numbers and policies betray them.

Dr. Walter Williams (as always!) did his part to expose the mess.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 70 percent of white high school graduates in 2016 enrolled in college, and 58 percent of black high school graduates enrolled in college. However, that year only 37 percent of white high school graduates tested as college-ready but colleges admitted 70 percent of them. Roughly 17 percent of black high school graduates tested as college-ready but colleges admitted 58 percent of them.

I think I can guess how two other demographic groups fit in. Hispanics do a little better than blacks and Asians do a lot better than whites. Collectively, this is why 40% of new college students require remedial classes. IF they pass those, then they embark on a curriculum journey that has practically reached the limits of dumbing down. The Greeks were all gay. Washington was an oppressor. Men are toxic. -4x² - 7x +12 = whatever you feel like today, Xir. Your $100K student loan is very difficult to discharge in bankruptcy court.

I was reminded of this phenomenon about the same time Williams was drafting his article. My honorable duties recently took me to an all-American high school. On the wall a poster boasted of goals like composite 20 ACT scores, composite 1000 SAT scores and 80%(?) college acceptance. (This is one of the typical schools were senior proficiencies, as-is, hover around 30% while 90% graduate).

***Related Side Note: While still holding onto some hope, I reevaluate my previously optimistic assessment of Gen Z.***

The rub is that a 1000 score on the SAT and a 20 on the ACT does not (did not) qualify one for college (unless barely), both indicating a “normal,” and maybe a borderline higher academic intelligence. Some things aren’t meant to be. Or, they weren’t meant to be.


Okay, what to do if you’re not wealthy, well-connected, or historically spit-upon? Assuming your child is bright, with an IQ of 115-120+, and not a five-star running back, look at smaller, mostly private schools that emphasize actual teaching and actual learning. Read Out of the Ashes: Rebuilding American Culture, by by Anthony Esolen.


Pay attention to what he says in Chapter Four. He heaped the praise on tiny and truly Catholic Saint Thomas More College in New Hampshire. He’s on the faculty now. Bright young people can be well educated and well rounded. And, there are more of these good schools than you think. Find one. (And, there is nothing wrong with - in fact, most things are right with - trade schools and community colleges). Forget the mainstream frauds and scandals.

***Mulling the Mad Mueller Mortification Matter***

Russia, Russia, Russia!!! Since I first drafted this, two op-eds have come in at TPC in re the same. Many thanks to Andy Allen and Bobby L. Nettles for the excellent commentary. My take? Everyone knew this story was complete bullsh!t from start to finish. Now, it’s official.

No Collusion (by Trump) and No Obstruction.

“The Justice Department said Sunday that special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation did not find evidence that President Donald Trump’s campaign “conspired or coordinated” with Russia to influence the 2016 presidential election.

Mueller also investigated whether Trump obstructed justice, but did not come to a definitive answer, Attorney General William Barr said in a letter to Congress summarizing Mueller’s report.”

No “definitive answer” means “no charges” for obstruction:

“Evidence gathered in special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation ‘is not sufficient to establish’ that President Donald Trump committed obstruction of justice.”

  • AP, 3/24/19

Read and decide. Now that this matter is behind us, I assume we can start: 1) building the wall; 2) draining the swamp; 3) some treason trials, and 4) finding a jumpsuit for Hillary. I’ll hold my breath.

The final word, from James Woods:

26 March 2019

Newton Co. Special Olympics Start Tomorrow, Wednesday 3/27/19 & Runs Thru Friday

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It's that time of the year, folks. It's time to support our exceptional & special sons, daughters, grandkids, nieces, nephews, cousins, siblings, friends & fellow Newtonians, and see them reach for glory & achieve their very best! 

And friends, this event holds a special place in my heart as my Papa-in-law, Mr. Steve Biggers, has been involved with this tremendous cause for many years, as well as one of my "Sisters from another Mister" - Mrs. Latrelle Atha Cawthon. This is such a great thing for our community.

This year's edition was pushed back a few days due to inclement weather, but is now about to begin! 

Newton County Schools are hosting the 2019 Special Olympics Track and Field Events March 25, 26, and 27 for hundreds of student athletes.  The theme this year is Built to Amaze.  The Schedule for the three days includes:

March 27 10:15 a.m.  Parade from Sharp Gym around the Covington Square and Opening Ceremony at Sharp Field

March 28 10:00 a.m.- 12:00 noon   Middle School and High School athletes track and field events at Sharp Field

March 29 10:00 a.m.- 12:00 noon   Elementary School athletes track and field events at Sharp Field

Special Olympics will kickoff their track and field events on Wed, March 27 for the annual parade that starts at Sharp  gymnasium at 10:15 and goes around the Covington Square, then back to Sharp field for the Opening Ceremonies around 11:00, involving all athletes from Newton County School elementary, middle and high schools as well as the Masters program (students who have graduated).  On Thu, the 28th,, the middle and high school athletes have their annual track and field events at Sharp Stadium 10-12:00.  The elementary school athletes have their track and field events on Friday from 10-12:00. 

This year's Special Olympics track and field games will be held in memory of Cheryl White. Cheryl worked with special needs students at Mansfield Elementary School.  Opening Ceremonies recognize Seniors or graduating students and NCSS special education staff that are retiring.  Also presented is the Michelle Bradley Volunteer of the Year Award.  

Each school prepares a banner for the current year's theme, uses it on their float in the parade or carries the banner in the parade, and then at opening ceremonies a winning banner is selected.  Track events include the 50 and 100 yard dash. Field events include the softball throw, standing long jump, and running long jump.  We also offer a developmental area offering wheelchair, walker, and assisted and unassisted 25 and 50 yard walk/run and a tennis ball throw.

It is a community event and we try to  have other activities and free merchandise available for the students at the stadium for them to enjoy between events, i.e. face painting, balloons, and visits from the City of Covington Police Department, CHAMPS Drug Awareness, Chick-fil-A mascot, high school mascots, Newton County Animal Control dogs and Falconwood Farm goats. 

This massive event could not be carried out without the help of the Newton County Special Olympics Management Team, headed by LaTrelle Cawthon with Hugh Waters as President, and all of the parents, NCSS staff, and volunteers from local schools and businesses.  The events could not be held without the help of the businesses and individuals people who contribute financially to the event and give their time to come out and help with the festivities or help the athletes, as “buddies.” 


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A Great, Great Thing!

Y'all come out & support our Olympians & be a part of this marvelous tradition! 
*special thanks to Cathy Ginn & Latrelle Cawthon 

- MBM 

25 March 2019

[Bess Tuggle] - Memoirs of Surviving Children: Thing 2, AKA, The "Crash-Dummy" & Tales of Bones Broken

My second son, Thing 2, had a nickname. He earned it. Early on, he earned it.

His nickname was “Crash-Dummy.” I don’t know how many folks remember the old toys, but they would crash, fall apart, get put back together, and go on to the next disaster. Thing 2 was like that.

His first disaster was at about 2 years old. He was running up the road to me at work and the mechanic’s puppy caught the bottom of his jeans. Down the child went. No ill will towards the pup, they were both playing, but Thing 2 ended up with a broken arm. That was cast number one.

At four years old Thing 2 took it to a whole new level. None of us know how he did it, but he certainly did.

We had bull panels stacked against the fence at work, all leaning at about a 45 degree angle, and each weighed 350 lbs. I know this. I picked up my side to move them more times than I can count and can attest to how heavy they were. It took a lot of muscle, grit and cussing for me to pick my end up to move ‘em. My chiropractor still thanks me for that experience.

Somehow, Thing 2, at a grand total of 28 pounds and 4 years old, managed to pull a bull panel over on himself. I was about 10’ away watching him climb, talking to his grandfather on the phone to see when he was going to pick up the monsters, and the boss’ son was even closer to him. None of us could stop that particular train wreck.

Down the panel came, kid underneath it. It didn’t look that bad to start with. The boss’ youngest son pulled him out from under the bull panel, I put him in the sink and started washing him off. Thing 2 quit breathing. That’s when I learned what “going into shock” all was about. I looked at our service tech and told him to call “911” then call my mother-in-law. That was closest person I could think of to grab the rest of my kids, and I had one child that needed my full attention.

That lovely experience landed us in Newton General for 6 weeks – with Thing 2 in traction. He broke his left femur just a couple inches below his hip.

To put this into perspective, my “White Coat” syndrome is so severe that 3 of my four children were born at home, and I was royally pregnant with Thing 4 at this point.

I’ll save his “turtle shell moments,” also known as his body cast, for another column.

Okay, that was 2 years old, 4 years old, then came 6 years old.

He broke his arm again. AGAIN! At the emergency room the nurses asked me who his primary doctor was. I answered with his bone doc’s name. The looks I got didn’t earn me any brownie points.

Eight years old was another special time. We were all getting ready to go to Cub Scouts when I hear the yelling. Not screaming, but yelling. Yup, he broke his arm again, at the beginning of summer, and was blaming it on one of his brothers.

This was a good one. Thing 2 came up from the creek, his arm held up in his Scout uniform shirt, and I asked to look at it. That was a BIG mistake.

If you’ve never seen a compound fracture, with the bone sticking through the skin, thank your lucky stars. You simply can not un-see that. Yet another cast.

Finally, FINALLY, Thing 2 woke up to his eleventh birthday. His first words were “Mama, I MADE it!”

He made it through an even numbered year, his tenth, without breaking a bone, and hasn’t broken another one since. Please, knock on wood with me, for him.

- Bess