24 November 2016

[TPC] - Turkey Tsunami: A write-up by Contributor Ellis Millsaps

The Piedmont Chronicles   
~ est. 2010 ~
[State of GA]
[Newton Co.]

*Ed. note - Ellis actually wrote this last year. As I understand it, this year his Landlord gave him a gift certificate to Publix. Da is hoping that Jack can take him up there today to find a fresh turkey, or maybe a hen. Enjoy!

Turkey Tsunami
A write-up by Contributing Writer Ellis Millsaps 

~ Special to The Chronicles

You know you've finally reverted to your white trash origins when your landlord brings you a frozen turkey. 

I don't buy frozen turkeys. If I'm making that once a year feast, I buy a fresh one. 

So I'm a food snob, but I have this 15 pound block of frozen poultry with which to contend. 

I don't have an oven even large enough for this bird (ed.note: he doesn't have a working oven, only a toaster oven). I spend the two days that it's thawing pondering how to cook it. 

I decide to make gumbo. The gumbo which I usually make contains crab, crawfish, shrimp, oysters and cajun sausage; the ingredients cost around $50 but it feeds a hoard. 

And if you're making something which takes all day, you might as well make a lot. 

But this is to be "econogumbo." Since the turkey is free, all said I end up spending less than ten dollars.

I cut the bird up and put the dark meat in my crock pot and turn it on low; it barely fits. 12 hours later and I have the essence of turkey. I throw the meat and bones away.

Meanwhile I've roasted the breast in the toaster oven.

I use turkey fat to make the roux (another cost saver), then add my broth, cajun sausage, vegetables and seasonings. I let this simmer about an hour and then I shred up half the baked turkey breast and add it.

It made a lot. I ended up freezing most of it. So that was Thanksgiving for me. Three weeks later and I'm still eating on it. It's not bad.

Ellis was an attorney by trade (now recovering) but has worn many hats over the years: father, bus boy, stand-up comedian, novelist, wiffle ball player, rock'n'roll band manager, and at one time wrote a popular and funny column for The Covington News. A Fannin Co. mountain boy originally, Mr. Millsaps now stays at the mill village of Porterdale by way of 20 years in Mansfield. Usually funny and at times irreverent and subversive, he leans left in his political philosophy but can always be counted on for a pretty darn good write-up. The Chronicles are proud to have him involved.