23 September 2018

[Bess Tuggle] - Memoirs of Surviving Children: The Irish Ma - Frosty's Colleen

I’m going to diverge slightly from my normal columns.  This one is not about me surviving my children, but my grandmother surviving me as a child.

Ma is a little, bitty Irish woman.  She swears she’s 4’10”, and I know she’s lying.  If she hit 4’6” I’d kiss your rear, but 4’4” is more like it.

I, on the other hand topped out at 5’6” by the time I was 12 years old.  Might get wider or thinner, but that’s as tall as I’m gonna get.

We got into it one time.  Can’t remember what I did, but it must have been something really special for her to get on to me.  My CB handle was “Colleen’s Angel,” Ma was “Frosty’s Colleen” and Pa was “Frosty Papa.”  (He talked to us every day on the CB on his way home from work in Cleveland)

There is –nothing- like the sharp side of an Irish woman’s tongue to take you to your knees.

As I listened to the lecture I was told “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”  

I did look at her. That was my next mistake.  Then I was told “Don’t look down your nose at me!!!” 

We went through this, back and forth, for about 10 minutes, all of which was complete torture for me.  I simply couldn’t win for losing, and I still can’t remember what I was getting in trouble for.

Finally, I crouched down so I could look her in the eyes, not down my nose, and take the tongue lashing.  She started laughing.  Lecture ended.  I survived that one.

Ma is 93 now.  She’ll kick me in the shin for divulging that, assuming she can reach my shin.  I love my trips up to visit her.  We still argue.  I will NOT have a Twinkie and call it breakfast.  I don’t eat what and how much she thinks I should, but the fun starts at 10 o’clock p.m. with some Port Wine and we talk until 1 or 2 in the morning.  

Those stories are PRICELESS!!!


jack of all trades, Ms. Tuggle has been a Covington resident since the late 70’s. She's been a K-Mart cashier, cabinet builder, vet tech, office manager for a beef cattle ranch and water well company (where she was able to hold benefits for D.A.R.E. and Scouts), a court reporter, business manager, assistant at a private investigation firm, legal assistant, convenience store clerk, landscaper and elementary school substitute teacher.  Her greatest pleasure is being a wife, mother and grandmother.  Her stories are all real, and all names will be withheld to protect the innocent, and also maybe the guilty, depending on the crime & the Statute of Limitations.