11 September 2016

Sunday Check-in: Talkin' NC BOC Derptitude, C-town traffic light crisis & Real Politick

The Piedmont Chronicles   
~ est. 2010 ~
[State of GA]
[Newton Co.]
-(North C-town Representin' * 9/11/16) - 


Hello, you beautiful and fabulous readers, y'all look marvelous today! A quick check-in for this Sunday, and look for a full, thick & juicy Sunday edition next week. I know you're hangry, so let's dig in. 

The Continuing Derptitude of the Newton Co. BOC 
So...the trash center situation. A glorified hot mess for going on a quarter of a century, so why stop now? Even as they're (wink, wink; nudge, nudge) in the process of doing away with these things, they continue to go full-on moron 'til the very end. You almost have to admire that consistency. These are the problems: 

  • $50 for a mirror tag - sofa king, we todd did - I mean COME ON! How ya' not gonna have a damn window decal?! You're just gonna have folks passing it around. It'll never work. A 6-yr old could have told you that. 
  • And the centers are scheduled for closing (again, a wink and nod...an elbow nudge right at the ticklish spot on your lovely body) on February 15th. So folks will be paying $50 for 4 months of service. What a damn shit show this has become! 
  • And why in God's Shining Grace is the damn Fire Dept. operating this derp-train! Lloyd Kerr should be publicly humiliated and given an especially nasty verbal dressing down on the Courthouse steps in front of a mean and enthusiastic crowd. He should resign. IMMEDIATELY! 
The C-town Traffic Light Crisis of 2016
I've brought this to the attention of the quasi-esteemed and maybe-honorable Mr. Mayor, and also Councilmen McKelvey & Smith. I've been talking about it with Fred Harwell for years; my brother and I have been discussing for two decades. But things have now reached a boiling point.

We've got the worst damn lights in the great state of Georgia, I am now convinced. They are soul-suckers who are depleting The People of their precious time. They are killing efficiency. Basically at this point they are now enemies of the State.

Floyd & Elm? Terrible. Supposed to have been fixed 6 months ago. Thanks again, Mr. Mayor. Usher and Pace. An abomination. Emory and Clark? A rotten and especially horrid traffic light. And every. Single. Damn. Light. on Hwy 278.

These lights are killing us. Literally. If we're all dying, all the time, then every second wasted at these state-sanctioned subjugation machines is, indeed, killing us. They're a problem. And problems need to be dealt with. Swiftly and w/ extreme prejudice. 

Y'all've got a month, Mr. Mayor and the Covington City Council, then The People will just have to take care of it. We'd do a better job probably anyways. Would we be breaking the law? Anything actually in the code about it? Hmmm...who cares?

Real Politick 

The Coroner's Race

Was in the Pace St. BP today picking up an AJC (first AJC I'd picked up in a minute; it was actually a pretty good paper today) and some cigs & dip when I saw a political push-card by one Dorothea Bailey-Butts, Democratic candidate for Coroner.

It was a cheap and badly done piece of political literature, but it got the main point across. You see, Ms. Bailey-Butts wants to be "The People's Coroner." Not sure what exactly that means, but that's the main thrust of her campaign. And apparently she wants the Coroner to start doing outreach and advocating for wellness, health, and other feel good type things. Sounds great, but that's not what the Coroner is supposed to do. But, whatever...

In terms of Ms. Bailey-Butts, she's a 19-yr practicing nurse, and it's her nursing experience that she is claiming as her main qualification. There again, not really sure if that's what the job entails and all, but...whatevs. She seems to be a nice and intelligent lady. Attractive looking. And surprisingly after having seeing her push card, her webpage was pretty darned impressive.

As a few have been saying for months, unless ole Tommy Boy is ready to spend some serious bank and run a very intricate and involved campaign, then we have a good chance of having somebody with zero, real experience, taking care of our deceased here in the home county. But, hey gang, she'll be The People's Coroner! So there's that... 

Chairman of The Board 

No. I just can't. Not today. Lord help...

Oh well, just another day in the home county. Jesus take the wheel, indeed! My word.

Just remember, fine folks, I'm here with ya'. We'll be keepin' an eye on things and we'll just all do our best to work hard to get better! That's all we can do.

'Til next time.

Yours Very Kindly,

M.B. McCart