23 December 2018

Happy Festivus 2018: MB McCart's Annual Airing of Grievances

It's the 23rd of December so it's time for my...

Festivus Airing of Grievances*

2018 Edition: 

In no particular order

  • City of Covington Stormwater Utility taxes bills
  • The traffic light at Elm & Floyd 
  • All political parties, namely the national parties. When they write the history books on this peculiar chapter of American history, they will wonder how sane, semi-intelligent people let two small groups of power & money-hungry sociopaths lead our nation to near destruction. 
    • And let's not forget the locals: the NCRP for their mean-spirited treatment of your poor, pitiful Editor, and the Newton Dems for treating me like a Mossad agent/spy. Well, guess what? I'll just do what the other two local papers have been doing for years & I just won't cover your monthly circle jerks...
  • J (Jimmy) A-a-ron Brooks. Like with a lot of my close friends, I can't seem to figure out whether or not I just don't like him. Maybe that's more a commentary on me...
  • Marshall "MB" McCart for being Marshall "MB" McCart
    "What an A$$hole!"

  • Wm Thomas Craig, Esq (though he's got the old spot on College Ave looking really nice!)
  • Sheriff Brown & the NCSO for paying Atty Craig upwards of a half million dollars this past year (see bullet point above)
    So Our Legal Spending Has Increased 2600%
    So What!?

  • The federal lawsuit just filed by Atty Stephanie Lindsey on behalf of former NC Rec Dept. Director Anthony Avery. Remember the first rule of the Law of Holes: quit digging. And seriously, you're still hanging on to the redacted stuff from the ORR materials? A grand conspiracy including the County Attorney's office? Just wow...I think that's called projection. I wonder if your client wishes he would've just taken the $400,000 a year ago? Probably. Oh well, I guess we'll find out in a year or three...
  • The fact that we still don't have a Krispy Kreme, Steak & Shake or a Cracker Barrel (thx Randy Vinson), but, once again, if only we could get just a few more McDonalds, Dollar Generals & couple more pawn shops 
  • Harry Kitchen for working us over like only a slick, high-dollar developer can, and the City of Covington for being his baby-back-b!tch of a chump. Stalking his FB profile, it sure looks like he's livin' large over there w/ the beautiful people in Hilton Head. 
    • And ditto on 3 Ring. Not looking good...
  • The Newton Co. BOC for....being the Newton BOC. And the nerve y'all have for acting like an actual functional entity the last few months. This is Newton Co., people! Know your role & act like it! I'm very disappointed...
  • JC Henderson
    He's Dumber Than He Looks, Folks.

    What an embarrassment. And - wait -  yes, now I remember - I do have something to gripe about w/ the BOC, or at least w/ Marcello. How the hell are you gonna do a 10-yr lease with JC for Nelson Heights with NO VALUABLE CONSIDERATION or compensation just 7 months after the damning forensic audit came out that said he was running it like a personal slush fund? 
    • now that's more like it. That's the Newton Co. government I've come to know & loathe...
  • These people turning left onto 278 from Floyd St! W. T. F. ??!! Again, who are these people? Why are they here
  • And again, folks running in the streets! Get on the GD sidewalk! Oh, the asphalt is better on your knees, you say? Who gives a sh!t! Get a treadmill! 
  • The golf carts. Out in the streets. I know it seems like about half of Covington has 'em now. I don't like it. Not one bit...
  • The fact that Irish Bred Pub & The Listening Room closed down. A really great spot, it's such a damn shame. And for us musicians, TLR@IBP was nothing short of a dream come true. Maybe it will rise from the ashes! :fingers crossed: 
    • Ditto w/ Blair on the Square.
  • Georgia Tech. But it's always nice to beat them in both football & B-ball like we did this year. And I'm glad their new coach is talkin' smack. It'll make beating them next year that much more fun. 
  • And Auburn & Florida, naturally. Always great to beat them again. 
  • Alabama. To hell w/ 'em. I just hate 'em! 
  • The fact that left-leaning progressives have now morphed into war-loving neo-cons because DJT is POTUS
  • The fact that right-leaning conservatives are now defending gun control because DJT is POTUS
    "Vote Harder"

  • Or, Tribalism in American Politics. Team Red vs. Team Blue. Who wins? Who loses? Who cares?
  • The fact that marijuana is not totally & full-on legal in every way. More specifically - Legalize It Like Tomatoes! No onerous regulations. Stopping the current attempts by the olde model cabal/power elite & corporatists' to take total control & turn it into another big pharma-style cartel. 
  • The fact that there are so many who just don't get it. In a word, it's freedom. As Locke spoke of, it is truly our natural state, and until we get the government that matches our essence, we will always have major problems & issues. Freedom works. It always has & it always will. 

    Happy Festivus! 

MB McCart

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* full piece is a work of satire. "Rhetorical Hyperbole" strongly utilized.