01 July 2019

Bess Tuggle's Memoirs of Surviving Children: Blowing Things Up

My children, in their infinite wisdom, got into explosives.  It must be a boy thing.  Nothing huge, but in their defense, they had some really bad influences.

            Their uncle and father told stories of “blowing things up” when they were growing up.  Digging holes under a pine tree and lighting dynamite in them was the biggest – and they didn’t bother to share that they were in the middle of a 100 acre hunting property and were the only dumb a*&es that could get hurt if their plans went wrong.  Thankfully, the boys never tried that.  They were taught to fill model paint bottles with gunpowder, insert a fuse, and blow them up…  I was scared silly every time I went to the airport because I was –sure- there’d be a trace of gunpowder on me somewhere.  What a blast going through security.

            Bad influences didn’t bother to teach them about safety or how stupid it was, either.  Thankfully, and surprisingly, they all survived to adulthood – with all limbs intact.

            The boys loved having campfires down by the creek, and again, in their infinite wisdom, decided they needed to blow something up.  This was Thing 1 and Thing 4 with the aid of a few friends. 

            They chose to throw a camping propane canister into the fire.

            Someone took a video of their shenanigans.  It goes on and on.  They were hiding behind a big, downed tree and they doubted their ability to blow it up.  “Fire’s not hot enough” was the last thing you heard before “KA-BOOM!”

            None of them expected that.  It was huge!  Nothing or no one got hurt, but it sure was impressive.  They had a video to prove it.

            Some poor deputy was patrolling Elks Club Road and saw the blast.  He parked his car in the ditch, trekked across a large pasture, made his way through the woods and across the creek to find a group of young fools that didn’t know what they were doing until it was done.  The good old days – the deputy didn’t site any of the kids, he just told them to put out their fire and go to the house.  Today that would come with juvenile charges, and maybe something tacked on for the parents too.

            The mess was theirs to clean up, and they did.  It was bigger that anticipated once seen in the daylight, but they got it all.  The video is still out there on You-Tube somewhere in cyberspace. 

            Their lesson learned that night was its always fun as long as no one gets hurt – and they never tried something that stupid again.  They got lucky.  Well, stupid – yes.  Explosive – no.

            Ya’ll have a safe and happy 4th of July!  Kick back, leave the explosives to the experts, and enjoy the show!
         -   Bess  

            PS:  The 4th of July and New Years Eve are the holidays when most pets go missing – the loud noises freak them out.  Make sure your pets are secure so they can have a safe and happy 4th of July too.  Our big dog will probably spend the night in the house shivering between my feet and the puppy will watch the fireworks from the front porch.  Go figure.