11 November 2018

[Bess Tuggle] - Memoirs of Surviving Children: Insomnia & Missing Kitchen Wares

Insomnia is not a fun thing.  It varies from mild and moderate to severe.  My heart goes out to all those that suffer.  I’m one of them, so I feel your pain.

Most nights I just wake up, have a snack and go back to bed.  My husband and sons’ know that –nothing- is safe in the ‘fridge at 2 o’clock in the morning.  I don’t care if you have your name on it or not.  If it’s not duct taped closed I’m gonna nibble.

Then there are those nights that the little squirrel in my brain gets out of the cage, and there’s no more sleeping after that.  Not, at least, until I manage to catch the squirrel.  I just pace and let my mind run where it will until I manage to catch the rascal.

Last night was one of those nights that the squirrel escaped and was elusive.  I paced around the kitchen, through my office, then through the living room, back around the kitchen.. and had an epiphany.   

There is actually a purpose for dust-ruffles.  You know, those things that you put over the box springs and they hang down so you can’t see under the bed.

They are a pain in the rear.  Putting them on means lifting a mattress.  No easy feat when the mattress weighs as much as you do.  Taking them off to wash is just as bad, if not worse – but they keep kids from getting in trouble.

When it was “clean your room” time my boys’ knocked it out.  There was so much “stuff” crammed under their beds that I couldn’t see because of the dust-ruffles.

Taking a dust-ruffle off, as tough as it is, -can- restock your kitchen dishes!  After going through the trash, hidden candy wrappers, stuffed animals, miscellaneous toys crammed under there, left-over food in various colors depending on its state of decomposition – you get PLATES back!  And bowls.  And glasses.  And cups.  And SILVERWARE!!!  If silverware wasn’t found in the woods, it was under one of the Things’ beds.

I did have a brief time that I had one, full set of matching silverware.  Then, I got grandkids.

Their rooms looked good, though.  I’ll spare the details of opening up closets.  

- Bess  

Quick note:  While half your kitchen may be hidden under a child’s bed, dust ruffles under yours will not, I repeat, WILL NOT keep Christmas presents hidden!  As the shopping season begins, hide their gifts accordingly. 




A jack of all trades, Ms. Tuggle has been a Covington resident since the late 70’s. She's been a K-Mart cashier, cabinet builder, vet tech, office manager for a beef cattle ranch and water well company (where she was able to hold benefits for D.A.R.E. and Scouts), a court reporter, business manager, assistant at a private investigation firm, legal assistant, convenience store clerk, landscaper and elementary school substitute teacher.  Her greatest pleasure is being a wife, mother and grandmother.  Her stories are all real, and all names will be withheld to protect the innocent, and also maybe the guilty, depending on the crime & the Statute of Limitations.  

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2 comments:

  1. Legend tells of a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac. Every night he sat up wondering if there really was a dog.

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