18 March 2019

[Bess Tuggle] - Memoirs of Surviving Children: Revisiting "The Equalizer"

I knew it.  I just KNEW it.  The paddle, also know as “The Equalizer,” has yet one more tale to tell.

My children always went to sleep with a “Night Story.”  From the day they were born, it was a given.  That was our wind-down, swap gears from day time to sleepy time ritual.  Our favorite stories were written by Dr. Seuss.  “A B C’s,” “Green Eggs and Ham,” “The Cat and the Hat”…  They are all ingrained in my mind.  Memorized.  Stuck in there forever.  Heaven help me...

Who ever thought Dr. Seuss and The Equalizer would meet?!?

I can’t remember which Thing it was.  I can’t even remember the infraction.  I CAN remember having one of my children over my knees.

They met.  Dr. Seuss and The Equalizer.  I don’t think they intended to, but it happened.

The paddle made its “pop” and stopped.  It didn’t just stop, it stopped –hard-.  

“The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play,” my butt didn’t get paddled on that particular day.  (Paraphrased from “The Cat in the Hat”)

Yes, one of the Things put a book in his pants, over his butt, knowing he was going to get paddled.  It was a Dr. Seuss book, stuffed in the back of his jeans.

It’s really hard to discipline a child when you’re laughing so hard you’re crying.  I have to applaud the ingenuity, though.   

- Bess Tuggle